When Someone You Love Rejects Truth

You tried so hard to do everything right. You prepared for the conversation ahead of time—you prayed, fasted, and sought wisdom, searching for a way to talk through what was on your heart with grace and clarity. You normally avoid confrontation, but the situation had reached a point when you knew that to stay silent would be unloving.

That night, she sat across from you—a long-time friend, a member of your small group, a woman in your family, maybe even your daughter. She smiled as she shared the latest update: she was moving in with her boyfriend and couldn’t stop talking about how loved she felt. 

Or she was officially leaving the church, setting out on a journey to reshape her faith into something more “fluid,” more her own. 

Or she was celebrating “finally listening to herself” and no longer apologizing for who she was becoming. 

To her, these were signs of growth and freedom, finding her true self. To you, the same choices looked like a drift from truth, far from the solid ground you both used to stand on.

You could feel it: the current pulling her farther out, gentle but steady. Every compromise was another knot coming undone. It wasn’t a dramatic plunge; she’d been slipping into the flow, letting it carry her for a while. While the waters still looked calm, you could see what she could not: the rapids waiting just beyond the bend. If she didn’t turn back, if someone didn’t throw her a rope, she could easily be swept away. 

So you said the hard thing. Gently. Prayerfully. You hoped that if you could just show her where she’d begun to drift, she’d recognize it too, and she’d want to return to Christ.

But nothing you said changed her mind. She didn’t argue—but she didn’t accept your advice either. She just looked at you as though the water wasn’t rising, as if you weren’t discussing changes that would alter the course of her life. 

As you parted ways your heart pounded, and you wondered if you’d said too much—or not nearly enough? One question rose above the rest, heavier than anything you’d said out loud. It wasn’t something you’d considered before: What if she had seen the lifeline and didn’t want to be rescued?

More Than Words 

We don’t always choose to have the conversation. Sometimes you convince yourself it’s not the right time, or that someone else will say what needs to be said. Silence feels safer than risking offense or rejection. 

Over the last few months, as my church group studied the book of 1 Thessalonians together, the theme of boldness came up more than I expected. As we wrapped our study, boldness was an area in which many of us said we hoped to follow Paul’s example: “As you know,” he wrote in 1 Thessalonians 2:2, “we were emboldened by our God to speak the gospel of God to you in spite of great opposition.”

What motivated Paul to speak boldly wasn’t a personality trait or natural confidence. It wasn’t that he was an extrovert or attention-seeking. Scripture says He was emboldened by God—the same God who strengthens us when we feel weak or hesitant or too scared to open our mouths.

Scripture also shows that Paul was motivated by love. He repeated the phrase “as you know” throughout chapter two, reminding the church six times in just twelve verses of what they already knew to be true about him. This group of people knew his character because he was not a stranger; they knew he was not someone who intended to manipulate or exploit them (1 Thess. 2:3). He was their brother. 

This special relationship shaped the way Paul shared hard truths with them. He spoke with sincerity (v. 5), with gentleness (v. 7), with care for them (v. 8), and with devout, righteous, and blameless conduct (v. 10). 

Paul’s approach is a masterclass in how we’re to communicate. Whether an invitation or an exhortation, every message comes with this heart, one that cares deeply and sacrificially:

As you know, like a father with his own children, we encouraged, comforted, and implored each one of you to walk worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory. (1 Thessalonians 2:11–12) 

It’s not surprising that Paul received a positive response from the Thessalonian believers:  

This is why we constantly thank God, because when you received the word of God that you heard from us, you welcomed it not as a human message, but as it truly is, the word of God, which also works effectively in you who believe. (1 Thessalonians 2:13)

But maybe it should be more of a surprise—because not everyone responds that way. Paul had already been chased out of Thessalonica by a hostile crowd (see Acts 17). While some Thessalonian believers welcomed the truth of the gospel, others had opposed it and rejected it outright. 

Still, Paul didn’t tailor his future messages to avoid opposition. He spoke “not to please people, but rather God, who examines our hearts” (1 Thess. 2:4). He shared boldly with sincerity, gentleness, and compassion. His faith was in God rather than the outcome because he knew the truth: some people would say no. Some wouldn’t want to be saved.

When Someone You Love Rejects Him 

Our culture values charisma so highly that it’s tempting to believe that if you’re just compelling enough, you can convince someone to see your perspective—that if you say the right words, they’ll see why you are right. They’ll agree, and they’ll change. 

Maybe that’s part of the reason we feel so much pressure and even fear when we step into hard conversations. We think: This is my one chance. I have to get it right. Or, If I don’t speak up, nothing will ever change.

Scripture relieves that burden. Yes, God calls us to boldly speak truth in love (Eph. 4:15), to offer correction and rebuke with grace (2 Tim. 2:24–25), and to wrestle on behalf of others in prayer (Col. 4:2). But He doesn’t place the responsibility for transformation on our shoulders. 

In 1 Thessalonians 1, Paul referred to Jesus as the one “who rescues us” (verse 10). Jesus is still the Rescuer. He’s still the one able to offer repentance and forgiveness of sin. Jesus alone has the power to pull someone from waters they could never escape on their own—and place their feet on the path to true life in Him.

He knew that would be our experience as well. He prepared His disciples when He said, “Whoever listens to you listens to me. Whoever rejects you rejects me. And whoever rejects me rejects the one who sent me” (Luke 10:16). 

So what do you do when someone you love rejects truth—rejects Jesus? You respond with more than boldness. You respond with faith emboldened by God:

• Faith to speak the truth in love and to surrender the results to God. 
• Faith to keep hoping, knowing the sovereign God isn’t surprised by this.
• Faith to continue praying, even when nothing seems to change.
• Faith to believe that though she may not have responded today, God is still more than able to reach her tomorrow. 

His Heart to Carry 

It hurts when the conversation doesn’t go the way you hoped. The pain is a reminder that you care deeply about her well-being.

But bold faith isn’t just about saying the hard thing in the moment; it’s about leaving the outcome in the capable hands of the One who loves her even more than you do. It’s about continuing to trust Him for wisdom to know how to love her, even when it becomes more difficult.

Because in the end, you aren’t the one who rescues her. It’s never been about your eloquence or abilities. It’s always been Jesus: His power, His grace, His timing. 

You’re not able to change a heart. But you can trust the One who can. 

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